All Porn’ed Up All Porn’ed Up

January 6, 2017 | Admin AALOOO

OOoo la di daa… I just simply love, love, love looking at the American Apparel clothing line’s advertising campaigns (too bad they closed, sigh..). Man, those guys really knew how to sell those figure hugging tights, tops, panties and what not. I think they had broken the formula of what sells, something like, make your ads look like a scene from a porno and people will go crazily wild to grab a piece of their brand. Hmm, oh well, honey, I don’t find myself guilty by browsing ‘em so keenly as I need to know how you’d look in these next-to-naked nudes. I think they should have those games like; Can you tell if it’s a scene from a porno or our abusive ads, the winner gets a dildo coupled with a furry pair of handcuffs!!!




Sex sells, yup, you got it, the minds of the buyers are so immune to seeing naked blonds and brunettes on the adult websites, that they don’t see anything worriedly wrong with the sexually abusive images printed on the clothes. I recently went shopping for some nightwear for my girl and came across a two-piece PJ set  that was very detailed and informative regarding ‘how to ensure that you’re doin-it-right with the three to four sex partners you’re keeping’!!! Yeah-haan, I loved seeing all those girl-on-girl, two-girl-one-guy, or even two-guy-one-girl bending the fuck out of those extremely flexible poses (applying their Godly Kama Sutra learning). I bought three pairs to gift to all my girls. Can you blame me?

It’s a start of a New Year, and all of you need to look at things with a different perspective. This could be the reason that the trends for the spring 2017 women’s apparel is aiming for a Porned-Up style. The women wear is about to be spiced up a bit and would have the accessories similar to the handcuffs, chains, sex toys, and what not to make you feel more feminine by being a sex slave to your man (or woman, of-course). So don’t dare going out shoppin’ with your granny or she might pass out by the shock.



I, for one, am a strong feminist, I love praising women, from the outside I mean. I adore lookin’ at their naked butts while lying out there on the beach or soaking in the steam in the gym’s sauna, or even when partying out there in those bonfires. I’m such a strong feminist that after my nightly prayers (for keeping my three kids and wife safe from harm, and my Mrs. not finding out about the two love affairs on the side) every night I praise and cherish the wonders of their amazingly beautiful curves and miraculous bods on those adult rated sites. Some peeps call it porn, but not me, I see it all as a tribute to these sexy, tight, mother-effin’ly relationship saving tutorials. If it were not for them, I would have left my wife after the first pregnancy. Like, who would stay when you’re not getting laid and have to deal with all the day and night sicknesses and puking all over.

I think now I am getting there, the point these clothes designers are trying to make. They are just coming to their senses after the shockingly nerve-wrecking, and brain-damaging elections and owning the winner who is an orange plump and loves to grab ‘em by their pussies. If you have a tribe leader that is so open about his stance pertaining to women, then the tribe also feels the urge to put their heads in the game and kneel down to follow him blindly ditching all the morals, and ethical values that they had pre-learned. So, all you folks out there, go crazy, stop livin’ your shitty, normal lives, bring some spice in the game, and accept the porn-themed apparel that is about to hit the stores near you this Spring. May all the flowers that bloom this season be the hint of the vaginas blowing up by the never-before sex moves used by you sex addicts.


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